Blessings for the Haters

In early August I experienced an attack, energetically and in a public forum.

   I will not tell you who it was nor am I asking for sympathy.  When you are in the public eye, attacks will happen.  It is what you do with those attacks that either keep you on your path and in your integrity or take you to a place where you are acting from a negative space.

    I admit that in the past I felt that attack needed to be met with attack.  When someone comes at you with a baseball bat you defend yourself; it is human nature.  What I have learned through the years is that not all attacks are the same nor call for the same reaction. This last public attack made me sit and think about how I react and what the real energetic story is behind an attack.

When people are attacking you; gossiping, saying negative things, lying about you or even sharing the secrets that you old them, they are grabbing onto your energy to use it for their own gain.  They are hanging off the positive attention you are getting and wanting that burst of power for themselves.  When you are shining in your own power and glory, which is when you attract people who are interested in attacking you; that is when there is the most to gain from an attack.  

When I realized this I thought about each time I was attacked or worse, when I attacked others through gossip.  I don’t like to admit that I may have hurt another, and I like to think I have not done it consciously, but we all have at one point or another in our lives.   Why do we do it?  Because it is much easier to be negative than it is to be positive; that is until you get good at the positive part.    Hopefully we can all emotionally graduate from High School and learn a new way of dealing with our own fears.

Each time I was attacked is was not because I sat at home doing nothing; it was because I was doing something positive and energy raising.  When you start shining with your own certainty and empowerment you give people a few choices; they can support you and be inspired in their own life, they can ignore you, and they can be threatened by your growth and want to grab onto your energy rather than create their own empowerment.   They use your success to feel worse about themselves and punish you for it. 

I talk about the people around you being threatened by your growth quite often; so often that I wonder if this is just my circle of people and my core life lesson.  It’s not.  I read article and books that talk about the same thing in similar terms.  This is a human nature trait that we can choose to rise above or get caught in it.

Gabby Douglas, the gold medal winner in gymnastics for the 2012 olymics, was gossiped and trash talked about because of her hair.  Her Hair, I am not kidding.  If you didn’t hear about it, let me fill you in.  Gabby is a black woman and there are lots of hair issues in the black community.  When she won the gold medal there was a firestorm of twitter and blog posts trash talking her hair!  That it wasn’t natural enough, or it wasn’t stylish enough.  That is what they had to say about her even though she was the first African-American woman to win the all around gold medal in the Olympics – and only the third American to ever get that title.   This is the perfect example of an amazing person standing in their glory and the people who try to steal some of that energy from them.  How much self hatred does someone have to be in to focus on what makes them feel worse about themselves in this history making moment.

When people are attacking you - and these days it’s viral – they are looking for you to spend your energy engaging with them in a fight.   When you lower yourself to the attack, you have just made that bully more important to you than the life you were already leading.  When you have to stop the presses and deal with the gossip, attack, and unkindness that was directed to you; the things that are truly worthy in your life take a back seat.   What I decided when I experienced that public attack was; “this is not worthy of my time and I have more important things to do.”  This was an easy decision for me to make in the moment because I was actually at an outing with my daughter and had another event filled with people I love to go to after that.   What a blessing!  If I was at home or at my computer when the dung hit the fan I would have easily obsessed over it.  Instead I got the opportunity to stay removed, stay focused on what is truly important (my family) and get perspective.   When I was actually able to sit down and deal with it I decided it wasn’t worth my time. 

I have not reviewed the unkindness that was shared about me and I will not.   I will not allow room for that negativity in my brain, nor will I allow it to feed any fears.    Don’t worry; there are plenty of people to report to me when trash talking begins. You will always be told by friends who are watching out for you so I left it alone and refused to engage.

When I finally turned my attention to the situation I realized that they were looking for me to be enraged and fight back.  They wanted me to tell all of my people about the injustice because guess what would happen; they would get a lot of attention from my world.  If I engaged, people in my world would now know their name.  Curiosity would win out and the story would perpetuate and the drama would grow.  Negativity would be fed and would rule the situation.  When I choose not to engage, there is no more energy to feed the fire from me. 

If someone gossips about you in the forest and no one is there to hear it…. Does it really matter?

In Gabby’s case there was a larger firestorm from her supporters and strangers that had never heard of her before to celebrate her win.  What that tells me is if you don’t engage, your attacker just looks like an ass in the long run.

Next time you experience and attack or gossip or some negative energy from another person, take a moment and check yourself before you respond to them.  Remember that this attack is coming from their pain and fears and that doesn’t belong to you.   If you must interact, talk to the person and not the fears.  Meaning – don’t engage the attack, just be you in all circumstances and pray for them. 

When you pray for someone’s fears to be lifted it is amazing how much growth you achieve and how quickly the fire burns itself out.  In many cultures is is forbidden to curse your fellow human being, instead it is said to bless them with everything they want.  I bless them right now!  I bless my haters to receive everything they want.; I bless them to find peace and balance in their life.  

Blessings to the lovers too!

Jacki Smith
Enchantress, Coventry Creations